Episodes

As the Keaton household gets ready for the first day of the new school year, Alex reminds Jennifer of how incredibly successful he was at the high school she's about to enter, and preps Andrew on the most efficient kindergarten take-over tactics, before leaving for the Leland campus to participate in a psychology research project on overachievers. Having responded to an ad soliciting paid subjects, Alex shows up for his first interview and is greeted by the author of the study, pretty senior Psychology major, Lauren Miller. They clash almost immediately over Alex's monetary demands and Lauren's increasingly heated allusions to the emotionally-bankrupt, materialistic attitudes of overachievers like him.

At dinner that evening, Alex is preoccupied with Lauren and their tense confrontation. He finally confides in his family, observing that no one has annoyed him that much since his former girlfriend, Ellen. While the rest of the family members exchange meaningful glances, Alexn insists that he is too busy to fall in love again, especially with someone like Lauren. At Alex and Lauren's next appointment, apologies are exchanged and before long, the two students are really warming up to each other. But when the conversation turns to dating habits, Lauren is quick to side-step the issue in an effort to keep their relationship strictly professional.

Mallory is thrilled to follow in ""Dear Abby's"" footsteps when she's tapped to write the personal advice column in the Columbus Shopper's Guide. She manages to involve the entire family, even Alex, in reading and answering the growing stack of mail, while searching for the perfect letter to launch her career in psycho-journalism. Mallory finally settles on a note from a lovesick teen who signs her correspondence ""First Love"". When Mallory's first column is published, Steven and Elyse are dismayed to discover that she's printed the family's phone number and address in her article. Explaining that she has to be warm and accessible to her readers, she becomes personally involved in ""First Love's"" relationship, while answering hundreds of letters and phone calls. Despite her exhaustion, she remains exhilarated by the idea that she's helping so many people, and plans an open house for many of those to whom she has given advice. When her ""fans"" begin arriving, Mallory learns that for every g

While Nick entertains the Keatons with a demonstration of the ""salesmanship"" he's using in his new job selling lightbulbs over the phone, an impatient Andrew waits for Alex to come home so they can watch a special edition of ""Wall Street Week"" together. When Alex finally arrives, Andy is depressed to see that he has brought his new love, Lauren Miller. To make matters worse, Alex forgoes watching ""Wall Street Week"" in favor of spending time with Lauren, which only adds to Andy's frustration. As the evening wears on, Andy is the only Keaton who isn't enjoying Lauren's company. She amuses the family with an analysis of Steven and Mallory's dreams, while Andy vies unsuccessfully for Alex's attention. Andy suffers the final insult when the weekend arrives and Alex, having completely forgotten his promise to take Andy to the coin show, goes off with Lauren to a touch football game. Angry and rejected, Andy retreats to his room, convinced that Alex doesn't love him anymore. When Alex shows u

Jennifer is appalled when nerdy sophomore Simon Wickerson falls head over heels in love with her. Although Jennifer rejects his advances, Simon is undaunted. He follows her home and tries to shower her with expensive gifts, but Jennifer only has eyes for Roger, a sophomore ""hunk"" who doesn't even know she's alive. Simon pleads with Jennifer to attend the sophomore dance with him and at first, she refuses. She finally relents, however, when she realizes that Simon is her only chance to attend the dance, thereby giving her the opportunity to run into Roger. Although she is reluctant to use Simon no less be seen with him Alex reassures her that manipulation is the way of the world. Despite Elyse's warnings that she's doing the wrong thing, Jennifer has made up her mind. At the dance, she scans the room for Roger and Ignores Simon, who is deliriously happy to be with her. When she finally approaches her idol, he is rude and insensitive and obviously has no desire to get to know her. Then,

As Elyse wraps up a major project for her firm, she realizes that her busy architectural career is causing her to neglect her family, especially Andy. Although Elyse feels terrible about not devoting more time with Steven and the kids, she doesn't want to give up her rewarding position at the firm. Just when she expects a breather, Elyse's boss dumps a prestigious project into her lap. Inspired by the challenge, she accepts the enormous job, despite initial misgivings. Later that afternoon, when a teacher calls to tell Elyse that no one has come to pick Andy up from school, ""Super Mom"" begins to feel like a failure, unable to juggle her private and professional demands. Though Steven remains supportive and understanding, the kids exert pressure on Elyse to quit and she is ridden with guilt. The next time Steven picks up Andy from school, he drops him off at Elyse's office to spend the afternoon. But a tired and cranky Andy ends up asking Elyse's boss to fire her so she can be at home.

When Steven arrives home with news of a job opening at his station, an internship position he feels would be perfect for Mallory, he finds his family deeply engrossed in a contest to locate the missing ""Colonel Crackle"" from clues found in Crackle cereal boxes. An excited Alex happily spearheads the search, which offers the winner a 5,000 dollar prize. Steven is equally enthused about the idea of having Mallory come to work at WKS. Although Mallory tries to squirm out of giving him an immediate answer, Steven dismisses her objections and pressures her into accepting his offer.

Alex and Lauren face the first real test of their budding romance when one of Lauren's former loves comes for a visit and Alex finds himself feeling uncharacteristically insecure. While turning a ""foolproof"" meal of frozen TV dinners into a complete disaster, Lauren gets a call from her handsome and brilliant ex-boyfriend, Eric Matthews, who announces that he's flying in from New York and wants to take her to dinner. Careful to avoid any possible misunderstanding, Lauren consults with Alex before accepting Eric's invitation, and is reassured that Alex doesn't mind at all. When the big evening arrives and Alex meets Eric at Lauren's apartment, he is overwhelmed by Eric's credentials. He discovers that Eric, a former Economics major himself, excelled at school and received all the same awards and scholarships as Alex. Worse yet, Eric has already established himself in one of the most exclusive investment firms on Wall Street and is the proud owner of a black Porsche. As the night wears o

The Keatons are surprised, but delighted, when Elyse's Aunt Rosemary shows up for a visit. Although Rosemary claims to have sent a letter and spoken with Mallory about her arrival, the mix-up is quickly forgotten as the family warmly welcomes their loving and favorite aunt. Rosemary charms the Keatons with her wit, humor and wonderful family stories. But soon, she begins to act strangely to simple questions, and Elyse starts to worry when Rosemary begins repeating things that have just been discussed. Finally, Rosemary admits that she has been having trouble with her memory and has no idea how she even got to the Keaton home. A trip to the doctor confirms beyond any doubt that Rosemary has Alzheimer's disease, which will get progressively worse and ultimately, render her helpless. Stunned by this tragic news, Rosemary nevertheless refuses to despair, determined to make the most of the time she has left. Both she and the Keatons rise to the challenge courageously, as she passes the f

Fearing the long-term effects of Andy's liberal upbringing with Its lack of strong gender identification, Alex tries to push his little brother into learning to play basketball, only to end up in some heated games of one-on-one with Steven. Meanwhile, In an effort to supplement his income from teaching at the ""Y"", Nick naively applies for the job of Dean of Admissions of Grant College. When he's rejected, he lets Mallory persuade him to take the job as janitor of her sorority house. Enthusiastic at first, Mallory proudly introduces Nick to her ""sisters"", who warm up to him immediately. When he offers housemates Cindy and Karen creative suggestions on decorations for the sorority's Winter Dance, he finds himself becoming the unofficial sorority mascot. When Nick is made an honorary sorority member, he really becomes ""gung ho,"" quoting Mallory the sorority handbook chapter and verse, and criticizing her lack of sorority pride. Finally, on the night of the Winter Dance, after Nick is crow

When Mallory decides to run for student body president of Grant College, her family is surprised at her uncharacteristic interest in politics. She explains that ""it just sounded like a good idea"", and introduces Skippy as the manager of this rather unfocused campaign. Still her most ardent admirer, Skippy encourages the whole family to work on Mallory's behalf. Alex, who considers Mallory the ideal candidate (""attractive and generally non-offensive"") begins to take over the entire campaign. He makes up buttons and posters that include his picture with Mallory's and starts advising her about the kind of campaign promises she should make to get herself elected. As voting time nears, Mallory becomes exhausted by the heavy schedule that Alex has set for her, and is also somewhat nervous about the promises she's made, which have escalated from new drapes and a diet soda machine to Alex's suggestion of free trips to Hawaii. Finally, despite the concerted efforts of the whole family, Mallory

When Steven's recently divorced brother Rob arrives with his son and daughter for a visit, the Keaton's become a sounding board for their relatives' family problems. In the wake of his divorce, Uncle Rob has given up his job as a CPA and is enjoying ""working in the great outdoors"" as a telephone repairman, a considerably less lucrative career which his teenage daughter Marilyn feels is a great hardship on the family, and particularly on her. It is immediately apparent that Marilyn deeply resents her father and believes that Mallory is the only person she can confide in, leaving everyone else feeling left out and curious about their conversations. The other Keaton kids are fascinated by the picture that her film buff brother Jonathan paints of ""life after divorce."" When Marilyn escapes to the mall with Mallory, she meets a Marine and arranges a date with him. She doesn't inform her father about it until she's walking out the door that evening, and though extremely upset, Rob feels pow

When Uncle Rob's daughter Marilyn stays out all nite with a Marine she meets while visiting the Keaton's, the family becomes painfully aware of her deep-seated anger with her father over her parents' divorce. Rob is left feeling stunned and hurt, as the Keatons begin to realize that communications between their beloved relatives have completely broken down. The following morning, when Marilyn comes home and flatly refuses to talk to her father, the Keatons jump in to try and help. While Elyse shepherds everyone out for ""a walk"", Steven stays behind with Rob to discuss Rob's feelings about his guilt over the divorce and his fears about confronting his daughter. Things don't improve when Marilyn tries to leave a day early for her mother's house and ends up in a screaming match with her father. Deeply troubled, Rob finally forces himself to corner Marilyn and press for an honest talk. And as he opens his heart to her, she finds herself unable to resist the power of his love.

When Lauren is required to write a paper on the typical American family, she chooses the Keatons. Focusing first on Steven and Elyse, she asks about their history together and the growth of the family, prompting Elyse to reminisce about her pregnancy with Andy. Steven recalls what a thrill Andy's arrival was to everyone, especially Alex, who was delighted to finally have a brother. As the family discusses the ways in which little Andy changed their lives, they recall just how protective and involved Alex became in the upbringing of the baby. While on the subject, Jennifer remembers the time that Steven decided he wasn't spending enough time with her and tried to become her ""pal"". Mallory illustrates the depth of the family's closeness when she recalls the day she had to tell her parents that she might not graduate from high school. Skippy chimes in about the time Alex helped him cope with when he first learned he was adopted, and Jennifer recalls turning to Alex for guidance when she

When Lauren is required to write a paper on the typical American family, she chooses the Keatons. Focusing first on Steven and Elyse, she asks about their history together and the growth of the family, prompting Elyse to reminisce about her pregnancy with Andy. Steven recalls what a thrill Andy's arrival was to everyone, especially Alex, who was delighted to finally have a brother. As the family discusses the ways in which little Andy changed their lives, they recall just how protective and involved Alex became in the upbringing of the baby. While on the subject, Jennifer remembers the time that Steven decided he wasn't spending enough time with her and tried to become her ""pal"". Mallory illustrates the depth of the family's closeness when she recalls the day she had to tell her parents that she might not graduate from high school. Skippy chimes in about the time Alex helped him cope with when he first learned he was adopted, and Jennifer recalls turning to Alex for guidance when she

While plans are in full swing for the Keaton's 20th anniversary party, Steven and Elyse are fighting and it looks like they may not make it that far. Elyse wants to have a big party to celebrate the Keaton's 20th anniversary and Steven reluctantly agrees. Steven's enthusiasm for the affair diminishes even further as Elyse's guest list expands and the domestic problems begin to stack up, the happy couple are at each other's throats... until the kids decide they'd better do something if they want their parents to stay together.

The Christmas spirit has come to the Keaton house, where the family is busy baking Christmas cookies when Skippy stops by to ask a favor. He wants Alex to pinch-hit for him as Santa at the mall, and Alex agrees after hearing about the excellent hourly wage. With Mallory and Jennifer along as his wall-paid elves, ""Santa"" Alex dispenses stock tips and financial advice to long lines of children. Besieged by kids with elaborate Christmas lists, Alex is surprised when he's approached by a sad-looking little girl who insists she doesn't want anything for Christmas and doesn't believe in Santa Claus. Her mother explains that seven-year-old Michelle is very depressed that her father, a traveling salesman who is struggling to make a living, won't be home for the holiday. As Christmas draws near, Alex becomes more and more concerned with Michelle's situation. After inviting the girl and her mother to join the Keations for some Christmas Eve cheer, Alex gets an unexpected visit from a kindly whi

The Keaton kids are dismayed when the local playhouse agree to stage Steven's radical 60's college play, ""A Draft Card for the Burning"". Embarrassed by the script's laughably dated hippie lingo, they are not surprised when Elyse refuses to reprise her leading role as Sequola Free, the play's sexy activist/anthropology student. Crushed by her decision, Steven goes off in a huff to cast another actress. But after numerous fruitless auditions, Elyse finally succumbs to Steven's wishes. Just as she predicts, Steven becomes insanely jealous of her leading man and finds it impossible to separate his dual roles as husband and director. Elyse and her co-star, local dentist Jeff Cooper, grow frustrated with Steven, who keeps changing the script to avoid any intimacy between them. When opening night arrives, Elyse and Jeff are rather uneasy about Steven's changes, which include turning a passionate kiss into a high-five slap. After complying with the high-five sign, the artistically stifled El

Alex is more than a little sceptical when Nick enters his sculpture ""Spirit of Columbus"", priced at $200, in an art show at the mall. but when Nick returns with the money and the news that he had several buyers vying for the piece, Alex decides that Nick is completely unaware of the marketability of his work. Appalled that Nick let potential buyers go away empty-handed, he insists that Nick increase the supply to meet the demand and steps in as Nick's manager for a hefty commission. At first, both Nick and Mallory are opposed to the commercialization of Nick's artistic work, but they become seduced by the idea of building a substantial ""nest egg"" for their future, and give in to Alex's pressure. However, Nick quickly becomes disenchanted as he fights to keep pace with Alex's intense production demands. When he tries to explain that the work has ""lost its beauty"" and become impersonal, Alex is too preoccupied with filling orders to listen. But when customers begin asking for his sculptu

Alex becomes a deejay of his own college radio show with a program he calls ""Syncopated Money"", designed to ""combine classic American music with an indepth analysis of the business scene"". While on the air one day, Alex introduces a tune by ""the late blues great, Eddie Dupre"", only to discover that Dupre is alive when the legendary blues artist himself calls the station. Embarrassed and apologetic, Alex learns that Eddie is now driving a bus in Columbus and hasn't recorded in more than 20 years. He eagerly tries to persuade Dupre to guest on his radio show and finally succeeds when he assures Eddie that a fee is involved. When Dupre visits the Keatons to meet Alex prior to the show, he charms them with his stories and his talent. But he confesses that he has no money to show for all his years in the music business and swears he will never perform again in public. Later, on Alex's program, he answers call-in questions from fans, one of whom is a Leland College music professor who extend

Jennifer comes home from school feeling blue because after choosing the American classic ""Huckleberry Finn"" as the subject of her book report, she learns that the novel has been put on the school board's list of banned books. Although her favorite English teacher, Mr. Flaherty, disagrees with the decision, he informs Jennifer that he must uphold the board's ruling about the book. Jennifer decides to disregard the school's edicts and goes ahead with her report, which she insists of reading aloud in class. Flaherty is forced to summon the principal, who confiscates the paper. Later, Flaherty tells Jennifer and her family that even though he personally admires her courage and commitment, he must fail her on her report. Even worse, she must face the wrath of the principal and possible suspension.

While Jennifer steels herself for a showdown with school authorities, Steven and Elyse prepare to back her up in her fight against the school board's book banning policy. Even Mallory gets into the act and shocks the family by falling in love with the forbidden ""Huckleberry Finn"", which she ends up reading aloud to Nick. Nothing is solved at the meeting with the school principal, Dr. Hewitt, the head of the school board and Jennifer's English teacher Mr. Flaherty when the Keaton's refuse to comply with the new school ruling. Jennifer is crushed by the fact that Flaherty, whom she respects and admires, will not stand up to Hewitt and the board even though he claims to be completely on her side. Pushed to a more serious confrontation, Steven and Elyse hire a lawyer to challenge the School Board decision, while Jennifer fields calls from reporters and grows increasingly uneasy with her notoriety. When the final face-off comes, Jennifer makes an impassioned plea for the freedoms of speech

While Andy is inspired by his parents' old love letters to try his hand at writing one to a kindergarten sweetheart, Lauren finds herself less and less able to spend time with Alex. She is struggling with her psychology thesis and is becoming increasingly depressed by her lack of significant progress. She confesses to the Keatons that she sometimes has the urge to quit, but Steven and Elyse encourage her to hang in there and keep working on it, much to Alex's chagrin. The day after she has broken yet another date with Alex to work on her thesis, Lauren complains to him that the project which once thrilled her has become incredibly boring. Having received a lukewarm response from her professor on what she has accomplished so far, Lauren finds the temptation to quit and spend more time with Alex too strong to resist. Alex happily assures her that she is making the right decision.

As Steven goes thru another one of his dreaded "magician phases" and tries to rope the whole family into participating in his magic tricks, the Keatons get a visit from Evelyn Mitchum, a former neighbor now living in New York, whose daughter Rosalie was beat friend with Mallory in junior high. The family is delighted to welcome Evelyn, but the tragic suicide of her daughter a year earlier makes for some awkward moments when they reminisce about old times. Sensing that Evelyn may need someone to confide in, Elyse makes a gentle but unsuccessful attempt to get her to open up about her devastating loss. When Evelyn turns her attention almost exclusively to Mallory, first inviting her to lunch, then on trips to the mall and the museum, Elyse begins to suspect that Mallory has become a surrogate Rosalie for Evelyn and warns Mallory she may get hurt. But Mallory insists she can and must handle the situation herself.

As Elyse prepares for her high school reunion, she is contacted by her old buddy, Roger ""Eggy"" Erdman, a klutzy class nerd turned millionaire. Never a romantic couple, Elyse and ""Eggy"" made a bizarre team even as friends, since Elyse was the most popular girl in class. She explains to the family that Roger needed someone to keep the bullies away and to save him from his own clumsiness. Like an older version of Skippy, the ungainly Roger comes over for a visit. While Alex is enamored of ""Eggy's"" wealth, Roger is still clearly in love with Elyse, who always helped him stand up for himself. Steven, who would do anything to avoid attending Elyse's reunion, urges Roger to take her. Roger wants to resurrect the ""Doo-Wop Twins"" number they used to do in school, but when Elyse refuses, saying that those days are over, a hurt Roger rushes out. Reluctantly, Steven ends up accompanying Elyse and Roger to the reunion, where he is immediately mistaken for Danny Wasserman, the class clown. Roger's w

While Alex prepares little Andrew's resume for future kindergarten elections, Elyse proudly tells the family that Andy has been chosen as ""Buddy for the Day"" at school, which means he will be responsible for showing a new classmate around. The new student, Josh Richards, turns out to be deaf. Accompanied by his mother, Josh is introduced to Andy by Andy's teacher, who explains that although Josh can't hear, he can speak by signing with his hands. Tentative at first, Andy leads Josh off to ""show him the ropes"", telling his curious classmates about Josh's deafness and his ability to sign. When several of Josh's schoolmates begin to tease him, Andy becomes very upset and rushes to defend him. He becomes even more disturbed at the end of the day when Josh confesses that the other children's cruelty does indeed hurt him. Experiencing the beginnings of a solid friendship, Andy begins to brood about Josh's handicap and stops talking altogether in sympathy for his friend. Troubled by the situ

Cousin June returns to the Keaton household for a visit after a three year stay in London. All of the Keatons are eager to hear her tales of England, but they just can't seem to let her get a word in edgewise.

Nick again demonstrates his flair for teaching art by conducting a class at the ""Y"" for children, including Andrew. So popular is the class, in fact, that when the ""Y"" needs the classroom space back for another program, the kids and their enthusiastic parents are very disappointed. Mallory tells the family that Nick would really like to open up his own art school, and Alex escorts Nick to the bank to help him get a loan. When the bank loan doesn't work out, Mallory encourages Nick to ask his father for the money. Nick explains that because his father left home when he was only eleven, their relationship leaves a lot to be desired, and he feels uncomfortable approaching him. But when Mallory finds out that Nick's dad is Joe Moore, the well-known owner of a very successful car dealership in town, she feels sure that Joe will want to reconcile with his son and lend him the money. The fast-talking Joe shows up at the Keatons for a pre-arranged meeting with Nick and acts as if he can instan